I no longer want coronavirus.
(Updated: 04-11-20)

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(Updated: 03-27-20)

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(Updated: 03-06-20)

This 82-year-old-woman got her memory back by changing her diet and 19 other variables that weren't controlled for.
(Updated: 11-26-19)

I removed the camera from the photographer's hands who removed smartphones from our hands to show how strange and empty his photographs would be without a camera.
(Updated: 09-24-19)

Introducing: Maddox Card (April Fool's '19)
(Updated: 04-01-19)

Lifehack: Did you know that your opinion on whatever you just watched on Netflix doesn't matter?
(Updated: 12-30-18)

Calling people your "dude" isn't a shortcut to personality.
(Updated: 03-12-18)

The Social Warrior's of Justice - SJW Newspaper (April Fool's '17)
(Updated: 04-07-17)

I've decided to keep a promise I made in the footnote of this article I wrote 12 years ago: I'm officially running for president.
(Updated: 11-07-16)

Your alternate news site sucks.
(Updated: 10-14-16)

It's time Hollywood kissed Google's ass.
(Updated: 06-13-16)

Special orders are for special assholes.
(Updated: 04-28-16)

无忧加速器-单窗口单IP-多C段防封、内部最新版 提供自助购买:2021年8月2日 - 【无忧加速器】会员等级修改为 单次充值满300元,享受银牌等级,购买节点享受9.5折, 单次充值满1000元,享受金牌等级,购买节点享受9.0折。 有限期为升级...
(Updated: 04-01-16)

The irrational hatred of cyclists.
(Updated: 03-18-16)

Maddox vs Crickets: who wins? The answer won't shock you.
(Updated: 02-25-16)

How to tell if you believe in bullshit.
(Updated: 02-12-16)

无忧加速器—用户交流中心 - Powered by Discuz!:2021-5-17 · 无忧加速器专著各大工作室多C段固定IP稳定防封适合各项目 专业提供国内 动态IP 静态IP全局伕理 长期带队各种端游,手游.接合作.联系Q:82724285 《梦幻西游3D》手游付费测试-工作室稳定项目 游戏防封IP 工作室动态IP 单窗口单ip联系QQ：616606198
(Updated: 01-07-16)

Shitty inventions that everybody loves.
(Updated: 12-24-15)

Penn & Teller: My take on their bullshit.
(Updated: 11-20-15)

Things I'm tired of seeing in horror movies.
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Learn how to cook, moron.
(Updated: 10-18-15)

Self-checkout lanes are garbage and so are the people who use them.
(Updated: 09-27-15)

Things I hate about modern gaming: stories.
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(Updated: 08-29-15)

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(Updated: 06-20-15)

软件加速实现上网无忧_应用_电脑爱好者:2021-5-25 · ★注意，加速器可能存在明文传输信息的问题，所众一定不要在公用网络上使用加速器，避免出现安全问题。 ★由于网游加速器采用虚拟网卡自动进行伕理的方式，登录游戏的IP地址为选择节点的地址，并不是自己的IP地址（任何网游加速器都可能会遇到该
(Updated: 05-22-15)

Here's how every company in America can save 23% on wages.
(Updated: 04-30-15)

Dancing Man and the cult of well-intentioned idiots.
(Updated: 03-10-15)

Spider Woman's big ass is a big deal.
(Updated: 09-04-14)

The ABC News saga and the screenshot that forced them to issue an apology.
(Updated: 08-20-14)

Things you're doing wrong every day: everything.
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Make your own Osama bin Laden death cookies!
(Updated: 05-05-14)

Facebook Quizzes Are Stupid (April Fool's '14)
(Updated: 04-15-14)

Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I think of Osama Bin Laden being dead and it makes me happy.
(Updated: 03-14-14)

Don't inspire someone.
(Updated: 01-20-14)

A case for The Grinch.
(Updated: 01-10-14)

How to watch a movie in a theater.
(Updated: 12-03-13)

Airline fees I'd be happy to pay.
(Updated: 11-18-13)

I hate BuzzFeed.
(Updated: 10-21-13)

Pepperoni is for assholes and idiots.
(Updated: 08-26-13)

Really isn't a punchline.
(Updated: 08-19-13)

Sounds I hate.
(Updated: 08-16-13)

I'm horrible and "disguisting" (3 new pieces of hate mail).
(Updated: 08-08-13)

I liked it better when it was called Army of Darkness.
(Updated: 07-15-13)

A message from adults to kids.
(Updated: 07-08-13)

Things that sucked about E3: The wrap-up.
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无忧资讯 PS5造型正式公开！黑白配色、首发有/无光驱双版本 ...:2021-6-12 · 无忧加速器 ·PULSE 3D无线耳机组：支持3D音效并搭载双重抗噪麦克风; · HD 摄像头：配备双重1080p镜头，让玩家可众在直播精彩游戏画面的同时，加入自己的画面; · 媒体遥控器：配备内置麦克风的遥控器，让用户可众轻松浏览电影及流媒体服务
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(Updated: 04-15-13)

Maddox's Fan Fiction Emporium (April Fool's '13)
(Updated: 04-01-13)

The worst wedding veil I've ever worn.
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Confirmed: I'm banned from Apple Stores.
(Updated: 02-14-13)

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer illustrates the worst of humanity.
(Updated: 12-19-12)

Using suicide to guilt someone is cowardly.
(Updated: 12-10-12)

海龟加速器 帮助海外华人解除IP地域限制 官网:海龟加速器 是由合肥市蜀山区大香蕉网络应用工作室开发；帮助海外华人解除IP地域限制，轻松使用国内IP上网；是一款看国内视频、听国内音乐的网络辅助APP，也是一款回国加速器，突破网络延时畅玩国内游戏；无忧漫游访问国内互联网资源
(Updated: 11-05-12)

You're not a nerd, geeks aren't sexy and you don't "fucking love" science.
(Updated: 10-12-12)

Things that suck about New York.
(Updated: 09-27-12)

Awesome shit that happened in San Diego.
(Updated: 08-06-12)

Prometheus in a nutshell.
(Updated: 06-11-12)

A comedy master teaches me how to be funny (new hate mail).
(Updated: 06-01-12)

11 Sexy Girls with Star Wars tattoos you don't have the rights to publish.
(Updated: 05-17-12)

A second chance at life. (April Fool's '12)
(Updated: 04-01-12)

Anyone who doesn't like onions is an idiot.
(Updated: 03-16-12)

End discrimination against straight people.
(Updated: 02-29-12)

I hope SOPA passes.
(Updated: 01-30-12)

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(Updated: 01-03-12)

The most overrated sandwiches in America.
(Updated: 11-30-11)

I hate Sasha Grey.
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A message to cops.
(Updated: 10-16-11)

The vegetarian asshole test.
(Updated: 09-01-11)

Animals are people (that we can eat).
(Updated: 04-25-11)

Worth a thousand words: a photoblog (April Fool's '11).
(Updated: 04-01-11)

I stopped childhood obesity, cholera and arson this weekend. What did you do?
(Updated: 12-07-10)

Not everything is epic, shitheads.
(Updated: 11-16-10)

The Best Show in the Universe: Episode 03 - Tables won't say "no."
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The Best Show in the Universe: Episode 02 - Make the choice to suck less.
(Updated: 08-26-10)

The Best Show in the Universe: Episode 01 - YouTube Kids.
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Safety tips for kids! (April Fool's '10)
(Updated: 04-19-10)

I hope I get swine flu.
(Updated: 08-24-09)

Quantum of Solace is a shitpile.
(Updated: 12-25-08)

Nobody cares if your puns were intended.
(Updated: 05-31-08)

Vague Genre Movie (April Fool's '08)
(Updated: 04-01-08)

Fashion tips for women from a guy who knows dick about fashion.
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The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face.
(Updated: 07-16-07)

9 things I learned about the world from anonymous stock photo models.
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Unfastened Coins: Titanic Conspiracy (April Fool's '07)
(Updated: 04-01-07)

One thing PC users can do that Mac users can't...
(Updated: 03-05-07)

I'm tired of Sony's bullshit.
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There is no 9/11 conspiracy you morons.
(Updated: 07-27-06)

I am a genius, you are not.
(Updated: 05-06-06)

How to spot a pedophile.
(Updated: 02-10-06)

Idaho blows.
(Updated: 11-08-05)

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If these words were people, I would embrace their genocide.
(Updated: 07-06-05)

Star Wars Episode III: a steaming pile of Sith.
(Updated: 05-31-05)

I hate Cameron Diaz.
(Updated: 05-17-05)

Unintentionally sexual comic book covers.
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The most expensive $94 Orbitz will ever make.
(Updated: 03-09-05)

无忧视频加速软件|无忧加速器 V2.2.2 官方版 下载_当下 ...:2021-6-27 · 无忧加速器是一款永久免费的视频加速软件。在线观看视频时，通过它加速后能够提高视频流的下载速度，消除画面的停顿，让您拥有真正流畅的视频体验。 【使用说明】 1.下载解压并安装； 2.运行客户端后，打开任意一个视频网站；
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The eleven worst songs of 2004.
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Ben Stiller should star in every movie.
(Updated: 12-21-04)

How to kill yourself like a man.
(Updated: 10-27-04)

If you work for Websense, you aren't reading this.
(Updated: 09-13-04)

"I, Robot" in a nutshell.
(Updated: 07-27-04)

Video games you'll never play.
(Updated: 07-13-04)

Intellectual property theft? Don't worry, Detective Dipshit is on the job (new hate mail).
(Updated: 07-07-04)

Five shitty movies that everyone loves.
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A few suggestions to help make CompUSA a better store.
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You're not Dave Chappelle, and you're not funny.
(Updated: 05-11-04)

Looking for a safe stance on abortion? Me neither.
(Updated: 04-26-04)

How do you dumbasses manage to breathe?
(Updated: 04-05-04)

One of the Better Pages in the Universe
(Updated: 04-01-04)

Cancel the 2005 Academy Awards, the contest is over.
(Updated: 03-23-04)

Astrology is bullshit. Astrology is bullshit. Astrology is bullshit.
(Updated: 03-10-04)

Attention women: until your farts start smelling like cinnamon buns, quit bitching.
(Updated: 02-24-04)

Bill O'Reilly is a big blubbering vagina.
(Updated: 02-07-04)

Garfield sucks.
(Updated: 01-26-04)

无忧加速器-无忧IP-游戏多开防封IP 『游戏伕理IP防封IP』 游戏...:2021年12月25日 - 游戏工作室论坛»游戏工作室论坛 › :::游戏工作室服务::: › 『游戏伕理IP防封IP』 › 无忧加速器-无忧IP-游戏多开防封IP ...
(Updated: 01-04-04)

Phrases that make my blood boil.
(Updated: 12-22-03)

A tribute to real men.
(Updated: 12-08-03)

Oops! You're racist.
(Updated: 11-18-03)

The Matrix: Revolutions is boring and shitty.
(Updated: 11-10-03)

LOOKS LIKE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH A BROKEN CAPSLOCK KEY (2 new pieces of hate mail).
(Updated: 11-03-03)

...封IP的好处与详细介绍,为什么说工作室必备神器 - 无忧加速器 -...:2021年9月29日 - 《无忧加速器》--专业防封软件(支持虚拟机)。无忧工作室防封ip自助注册购买地址:www.wyffip.com售后群3852021121: 动态版本,上一次游戏自动换一次IP,...
(Updated: 10-19-03)

How to render the Segway obsolete.
(Updated: 10-16-03)

McDonald's new ad campaign is an anagram for "ailing vomit."
(Updated: 10-06-03)

Going to Thailand? Don't forget your jackass discount card.
(Updated: 09-30-03)

Ikaruga: a modest review by a modest man.
(Updated: 09-08-03)

Things Elizabeth Smart could have done to escape her captors.
(Updated: 09-01-03)

Not sure if you're an idiot? Play it safe and don't send me email (new fan mail).
(Updated: 08-25-03)

How is it possible that a guy with a small penis and a hairy back is more powerful than Pepsi on the Internet?
(Updated: 08-18-03)

We know you're a cranky bitch, you don't need the bumper sticker.
(Updated: 08-05-03)

Proof that wealth can't buy class: the top four ugliest cars on the road.
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Take your X-TREME marketing and shove it.
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A shampoo recommendation for cry-baby pussies (new hate mail).
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Christopher Reeve is an asshole.
(Updated: 06-24-03)

My balls are huge.
(Updated: 06-16-03)

Four things that could have improved The Matrix: Reloaded.
(Updated: 05-23-03)

Would you like to bomb Iran?
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无忧ip伕理,专业伕理防封IP,游戏单窗口单ip - 无忧加速器:2021-10-24 · 无忧加速器 - 单机单IP,多开游戏单窗口单ip SK5 HTTP多种伕理模式《电脑版-安卓端-IOS版》无限换ip地址。端游、手游必备防封神器 专业解决游戏工作室挂机防封等问题。
(Updated: 04-20-03)

迅达加速器:迅达加速器不仅仅是加速网络，而是真实的朋友。我伔行业领先的支持团队随时为您提供帮助，您将直接与我伔的客服人员交谈，众便快速轻松地解决您的问题。 我伔像朋友一样对待客户 Follow Us
(Updated: 04-03-03)

Wireless internet may very well destroy our chances of contacting intelligent life.
(Updated: 04-11-03)

Who would make a better president: Bush or a box of Tic-Tacs? An objective analysis.
(Updated: 03-16-03)

How to become an obnoxious internet cam whore in five easy steps.
(Updated: 03-03-03)

I wonder if Jenny Jones can come up with a topic that rhymes with "canceled."
(Updated: 02-27-03)

如何做cdn加速器给网站加速 - 建站与程序 - 无忧教程网:如何做cdn加速器给网站加速？CDN全称是ContentDeliveryNetwork,它对传统固网的加速有着显著的效果。改进如下问题可众做些什么呢？主要是缓存优化，网络优化(TCP协议优化，降低...
(Updated: 02-18-03)

How to win the war and make big savings.
(Updated: 02-15-03)

Why change your car's oil when your girlfriend can do it?
(Updated: 02-09-03)

Greeting cards you wish you could buy.
(Updated: 02-01-03)

Bush: making political satirists obsolete since 2000.
(Updated: 01-28-03)

海龟加速器 帮助海外华人解除IP地域限制 官网:海龟加速器 是由合肥市蜀山区大香蕉网络应用工作室开发；帮助海外华人解除IP地域限制，轻松使用国内IP上网；是一款看国内视频、听国内音乐的网络辅助APP，也是一款回国加速器，突破网络延时畅玩国内游戏；无忧漫游访问国内互联网资源
(Updated: 01-17-03)

Hollywood: still out of ideas? How about another black-guy-meets-white-guy comedy?
(Updated: 01-13-03)

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My page from 2000 (It kicks ass)
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My page from 1998 (It kicks ass)

Books:

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HOLY SHIT! The Alphabet of Manliness!
Crappy Childrens Artwork!

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The saddest caveman in the world.
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i-Mockery
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The Biggest Problem in the Universe
Driven By Boredom

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